A Spiritual Dilema (not really) (sort of)

I’m having a conflict. A spiritual question as it were. I’m wondering how bad it is that I love (LOVE, lust for, covet and hoard) the Bumble and Bumble hair products that my darling SIL, Becca, gave me for my birthday? Because I don’t want to be prideful or anything, but my hair is really soft and delicious smelling when I use them.

Especially the creme de coco masque.

Because I smell like coco. Yum. You might think I’m joking about this moral dilemma, but I’m not. See, for the past few years we have really struggled financially, and as a dyed in the wool Mormon religious fanatic I have to ask, “why?”

Because I believe God has a plan for me. And all the nasty parts of life are just his way of turning me into the really cool person he wants me to be. I think that makes sense to most people whether they play for team Mormon or not.

So I say to myself, maybe if we are being poor for awhile, it is because I need to learn that happiness doesn’t come from money. And that stuff isn’t what brings peace, and that money can’t protect me from my own fears, only faith can do that.

So I think I’ve pretty much internalized this lesson; I’m feeling pretty good about my spiritual progress and what not. You know — getting my hair cuts at the Hair Cuttery for $12, using huge ole bottles of Suave Shampoo, and having Marc (aka Jose Ebar) do my highlights for me. Yes, I know that if I were truly humble I wouldn’t care about my hair turning brown but baby steps, okay? Don’t judge.

But then Becca gives me this whole bag of Bumble and Bumble goodies and all that self control goes out the window and I just WANT it. I want it spaz! Fancy hair, nice clothes, expensive trips! Obviously, I am walking with my neck stretched forth and tinkling bells on my ankles or something like that. And I am sure God knows! And he is thinking, “you haven’t learned your lesson yet, little one.” So then maybe I will have to be poor forever?!!? Also, I totally know I am crazy thinking that God is spying on my hair. But that’s what being a fanatic is all about, yes? At least I own it.

Here are some pictures of Satan/Becca and her hottie husband. Aren’t they cute? And I love her even as she brings about my spiritual downfall, because I, again, love my soft, smelly hair.

We went to Troy’s parent’s home last Saturday for a really good BBQ and that, gentle reader, is where the “products” were introduced. No more BBQ’s for me?


2 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    heather said,

    My advice: Buy the product but just be grateful it was invented for your joy and the use of all mankind…even the poor ones. By the way, where can another poor person pick up some of the Bumble? My hair just doesn’t smell all that great after using the kids 2 in 1 suave…

  2. 2

    Becca Ford said,

    Yes, I strive to bring people down by addicting them great smelling products that make their hair oh, so, soft! I was hoping you wouldn’t figure out my plan, but alas, you have found me out!!

    I guess this means I’ll just have to get you more products to feed your lust for lucsious hair products!!!

    With all my love & affection,
    Satan/Becca 🙂

    p.s. can’t wait to see you guys!!!

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