Sad Mom

See how beautiful they are?

See how beautiful they are?

It is hard to be the mom.  Sometimes.  Like today.

All four kids had tough days at their new schools.  They made it through, but I about died when I got a text from Kate in the middle of the day that said, “Pick me up now.  I hate it here.  No one likes me.  I want to go home to Virginia.”

And when I picked Jonathan up and asked how his day was he said, “It was okay, but I had a hard time at recess.  I didn’t know what game to play, and I felt like crying, so I went to the Library and talked to the Librarian.”

Or how about this one, Ellie told me that at recess she was trying to find someone to play with, and a girl said she would play with her and said to wait right here for me.  So Ellie waited.  But the girl never came back.

And my stoic Maddie, who said the day was okay, but lunch was so awful she went to the career center and looked at jobs.

Please tell me we will get through this.  My heart is breaking.

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9 Responses so far »

  1. 1

    Leslie said,

    My sweet Shelley-

    YES! YES! YES! You will get through this but I will not promise that it will get easier overnight. I cried through the first 4 weeks of RS when we moved to Virginia. I was so looking forward to church and when I got there I realized just how far away I was from my friends and it made me incredibly lonely and sad…and I don’t cry. Ask my kids! When people say it just takes time…they’re right…it just takes time. I appreciate your sweet compliment about making friends but that is truly not easy for me but it has gotten easier – not because I’ve wanted it to get easier, but because I had to do it to make friends which I desperately need! I will promise this…it will happen. Friends in CA will love you just like your friends in VA do. Be patient but keep trying – despite the tears. It will be harder for your kids this time because they don’t have their “old” friends 15 minutes away like your move to Fairfax. Keep reminding them that you love them and that you know they can do this. I’ll share something that someone told me when we moved here. They said, “One of the best things about moving is the first 1-2 months when your kids are still establishing themselves in new activities and you aren’t as busy. You have way more time together as a family and it’s the best time to strengthen your family.” Now…when I was going through it…I hated it! I didn’t want to be with my kids 24-7. But, I can tell you that Megan and Sierra got to be much better friends during that time and it was sweet to watch. I can reflect back now and see that as a benefit. You are amazing with amazing kids who have a lot to offer their new friends. IT WILL HAPPEN!! Tell your kids that their new best friend is just waiting to meet them – they just have to find them. PRAY – and have your kids pray for new friends. Use it as a testimony-builder that Heavenly Father can help us with anything…even a friend. I love you Shelley and I am feeling your sadness and feeling sad with you. Here’s an over the internet hug…did you get it!?!? I would have called you but it’s only 6:30am there and I didn’t want to call so early. Hang in there!

  2. 2

    Mandy said,

    It will work out. Promise. I don’t how or when or why…but I do know things work out. Tell your kiddos we love and miss them. Friends will come with time. As my favorite home teacher once told me…sometimes our physical situation is for a spiritual reason. Hang in there!

  3. 3

    Paige said,

    We miss you and LOVE you!!! Tell Ellie that this summer, Lola will come and visit, clean her room and stay with her for SIX sleeps! You guys are the sunflowers that bloom where ever you are planted. Hugs and Kisses! Paige and the gang.

  4. 4

    Well, I certainly know how you feel, having uprooted my entire family, and yes, I do recall those first few days: Taylor needing to switch teachers, all the traffic citations we got, and all the moving mess! AARRGGHH!!!
    But, then we met you guys, and we met the H’s, and we met many other great families who end up displaced, but survive, too.
    I know how devastated you are, but you’re gifted, Shelley, and your family is awesome, so you’ll move ahead and this will be a blip…
    We love you guys, miss you tons (I lost it in the SUV on the way over to the airport with the girls in the car! they just laughed at me 🙂 and I spoke to Marc on the phone yesterday…I told him we’re even in the same time zone, with me here in LA.
    We WILL see you soon.

  5. 5

    Jan Signore said,

    There is nothing like watching your kids hurt, I think it is actually worse for us, but then I’m the
    mom, so of course I would think that! They will be fine and you will be fine, as Leslie said,
    it really is a function of time. But you already know that! Your kids are so delightful, they
    will have no problems with making friends soon. They are also going through a mourning
    process, remember the steps? Don’t know if it is a perfect analogy, but somewhat good.
    In time they will feel as passionately about their friends there as they do about their
    friends here (well, almost….)
    But here is the thing, they will learn much from this process that will serve them well
    in the long run. They will always have compassion for the new kid, they will develop
    more inner strength, and as Leslie said it will strengthen your family bonds.
    As we have talked about before, hard experiences are the ones we learn from the most.
    That is so unfair!!!
    We love you and will pray for you.
    Jan

  6. 6

    heather said,

    Tears rolling…my heart aches for those little angels of yours. And I know you have to be stoic while you ache in your heart for the same reasons. I can’t add anything that already was perfectly said already…except our little Porter Motto: “THE PORTER’S CAN DO HARD THINGS!” I replace today with your families name, “THE FOSSE’S CAN DO HARD THINGS!” …not easy, not always fun…but known by the Lord. we love you

  7. 7

    Aunt Colleen said,

    They are beautiful children, inside and out, and their classmates won’t be able to ignore them for long. But my heart is aching for them right now, and I know you must be feeling very, very sad. Your friends have offered comfort and encouragement, and I can only do the same. Hugs and kisses, and prayers, to you all during this difficult transition time.

  8. 8

    katrina said,

    my heart aches for you. i can only think how lucky you are that not only do your kids make friends so easily, but that you also have always been a great example of friendship and giving.

  9. 9

    amy burbidge said,

    I wish I was there to invite you over to dinner on your first Sunday like you did for Garrett and I our first Sunday in VA.


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